Awards

A comprehensive and fully objective record of recognition

Upon the launch of our first three products, we were self-awarded with three different awards. Each one for "Top Three Product Launches in Company History." We remain the only company to have swept all three positions in a single year, a feat we expect will never be matched.

We are incredibly humbled to have reached what we believe is an important professional milestone: preening. While we have not yet ascended to the more advanced discipline of aggressive career-oriented self-flattery. That said, we continue to study the masters of the craft. In particular, we admire how the Screen Actors Guild have elevated the practice of celebrating people who convincingly pretend to be other people (actors on a screen) into a truly world-class awards ecosystem.

Awarding actors on a screen from the Screen Actors Guild...we've got some ground to take. If you hand out enough trophies, eventually someone will televise it, so maybe we ought to start looking to celebrate things we see externally...we could start small with something like 'most neighborhood lemonade stands on the first Saturday of May'.

While much work remains ahead of us...one day, we hope to reach the advanced levels of institutional maturity by establishing a non-profit foundation through which we can, quite fortuitously (and entirely by coincidence with respect to the tax code) recognize and reward the many individuals responsible for these achievements. Our legal counsel has described this ambition as "creative," which we're choosing to interpret as a compliment.

Until then, we remain grateful for this recognition and look forward to continuing the proud tradition of internal excellence, external humility, and carefully calibrated self-congratulation.